No Regrets

I am working on a photo book for you of your first six months.  I would say I regret not blogging more, but the reality of the situation, is I chose not to.  I chose to focus on you, and getting/keeping the house clean.  And even if I did want to blog more, I do not like the concept of regret. 

Nothing in this world is worth regret, because each and every action or decision you make is why you end up where you are, the person you are.  And I never want to regret being me.  There are so many things that I could have done differently in my life, but then I may not be here, I may not be your mom, and I can not imagine a world without you, now that you are here.

You are getting so big, at your 6 month check up they said you were as long as an average 10 month old.  You are so close to crawling, you get your knees under you and rock back and forth, I can't believe you are growing up so quick.  I hope that I will be able to remember everything about you and your first months of life, the way you smile, and giggle, the way you huff through your nose when you are mad about something, and the way you pucker your lips and milk runs down your face when you fall asleep eating from a bottle.  I want to be able to remember how hard it is to have a new born at home, the lack of sleep, and the lack of alone time.  Because one day when you grow up and have kids (if you want them), and you call me in the middle of the night crying because you can't figure out what the baby wants, I want to be able to remember feeling like that.  I don't want to tell you, oh it's not that bad, because it is that bad.  It is worth it, every tired moment and spit up covered shirt.  But I will always remember how badly I wanted to do something, anything really to help you be happy.  You will feel the same some day, and then you will know what it means to be a mom.

P.S. - That better not be for at least 18 years Missy....